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The Democratic Party Priesthood
An Anthropological Study

Michael Kaarhus
17:03 Tuesday, July 21, AD 2020 GMT

Here I argue that the Democratic Party leadership wants We the Voters to see them as a new and better religion—a non-Christian one that we are supposed to believe would be more progressive and efficacious than Christianity. They apparently modeled this new religion after the idea of climate sin. Let’s start with that.

Why do CO2-producing industries need carbon credits? Some governments of a blue hue, as Michael Kelly used to say, have defined that CO2 production above government-set thresholds is a climate sin. If a company is a climate sinner, it needs absolution. The ones that are to absolve them are those that define the production of CO2 to be a sin: the same, blue-hued governments.

To obtain absolution, the climate sinner must purchase climate credits from those governments. Once this purchase is made, the climate sinner is absolved, and may go about its business as usual. Of course, the newly-absolved business passes the cost of climate credits on to consumers. This is seldom mentioned. But really, that makes all of us climate sinners, because we all share the cost of the company obtaining absolution. The same party, the Democratic, is now applying the same sort of religion to skin color.

To be clear, I do not believe in different races. The genetic differences between the so-called races are so slight that a variety of races is not indicated. We are all the human race. Divisiveness along lines of skin color and facial features does not have a significant genetic basis. But some physical differences are observable, and the Democratic Party has always tried to divide us, the human race, over them.

In the nineteenth century, the Democratic Party defined it to be a sin to be black. At that time, its priesthood was the KKK, some of whom were party leaders. This lasted into the mid-twentieth century with, for instance, Sen. Robert Byrd. Other Democratic leaders, such as Woodrow Wilson, were notoriously racist. In the twenty-first century, the same party defines it to be a sin to be not black enough. They have not managed to separate skin color from sin. Their priesthood today is not the KKK, but is still the party leadership.

In the Democratic Party’s religion, if one’s skin color is fair, or not black enough, one has inherited wrongcolor. It’s like original sin for us non-blacks; it isn’t our fault, but it is still a sin. Since it is like original sin, it is absolved by Democratic Party (DP) baptism: attend a BLM or Antifa-organized protest march, chant all the requisite memes, raise one’s clenched fist at appropriate times and do any drugs that are being passed around. After the protest is over for a time, go to the County Administration building and register with the Democratic Party. Then you will be absolved of wrongcolor.

If you find yourself in a demonstration desert<1>, it is permissible to attend a pro-life rally and harass pro-lifers instead. Before leaving, you must chant, “Long live Big Brother!” five times. When you are done, go to the County Administration building and register with the Democratic Party. Then you will be absolved of wrongcolor.

If you disagree with any of the above, you have committed wrongthink, another sin. To be absolved of wrongthink, one needs to go to them that define it to be a sin: the Democratic Party’s leaders, aka, the Democratic Party priesthood. I make three observations concerning this priesthood:

First, most of them appear to them have wrongcolor and wrongcolor privilege. However, they have received Democratic Party baptism, and are actually no longer guilty of wrongcolor. But they still have wrongcolor privilege. To wash it away, they make pious, public statements concerning how guilty and lost they used to be, before they found Big Brother. Then they put on stoles and take a knee in silence for eight or nine minutes, preferably on the hardest floor they can find. By such penitential acts, they demonstrate their sincere repentance and worthiness of acceptance by BLM; they are absolved even of wrongcolor privilege. It’s amazing.

Second, they are proud that they seldom commit the sin of wrongthink. Far from committing it, they define and insist on newthink. This aloofness from wrongthink they flaunt as newvirtue. It helps them to feel worthy to be priests and priestesses of their religion, their wrongcolor sins having been taken care of.

Third, their stoles are a double cultural appropriation.

As you have probably already heard, their stoles were originally of the Kente Material which they appropriated from the Ashanti Tribe of Ghana. The appropriation is to say to this effect: “We are one with the Ghanaian People, who are black. This gives us color virtue, see?” Ghanaians, however, reject this appropriation, as it is for political ends. They let the world know that they disapprove. So maybe the Democratic Party priesthood has now dropped the Kente Material. I am not a Party member; I don’t know for sure. But even if they dropped the Kente Material, that does not mean that they dropped stoles in general. The wearing of stoles is itself an appropriation.

Stoles are symbols of Christian religious office. The Roman Catholic stole is a vestment worn only by priests. When hearing confessions, RC priests wear their usual habit, not vestments, except for one. They put on a plain stole—an RC vestment—as a sign and reminder of the holiness of acting in Persona Christi to absolve sins. The Democratic Party priesthood has appropriated to themselves, and to their religion, this vestment and symbol of the holiness of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and of the RC Priesthood.

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What are we to conclude, except that the same party officials want We the People to think of them as holy priests and priestesses—ministers of a new and holy office—that of absolving people of wrongthink, wrongspeak and other party-defined sins? Because of that, I hereafter refer to them as the holy Democratic Party, or more concisely, holy Party. Why would they want us to think of them as holy?

I think it’s because they want to claim the “moral high ground”, as Rush puts it, from which they could lay more guilt trips on their political opposition, and on Americans in general.

For instance, do you wear a MAGA cap? It’s a sin: wronghat. Its message is also a sin: wrongmessage. Holy Party’s holy priesthood says so. All penance due to wronghatting is commuted, however, if the wronghatter repents to one of holy Party’s stole-wearing priests or priestesses, receives absolution, destroys the heretical hat, and switches to the holy Democratic Party.

Do you support President Trump? If so, you have committed wrongsupport<2>. He constantly commits wrongspeak, and also special sins that holy Party has instituted against him only: wrongtweet, wrongtaxreturn, wrongwalk, wrongpolicy and wronglawenforcement. Because he rejects holy Party’s holy priesthood, he is evil by definition. President Trump is so evil that everything he promotes is anathema, and must be opposed. And everything he opposes is virtuous and must be promoted. Holy Party has trouble keeping up with all the sins that he commits; the above array of Trump-specific writs might not be complete.

Do you listen to Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Sean Hannity, Alex Jones or Michael Savage? If so, you have committed wronglisten. you must repent and reform your life. Trust the holy Democratic Party’s Ministry of Truth: CNN, MSNBC, NPR, NBC, ABC, CBS, the NYT, the WAPO, the LA TImes, the Boston Globe and others. They will lead your mind and heart correctly, to newvirtue, newthink and hate!

Do you belong to some party besides the holy Democratic one? If so, you have committed wrongparty. You can accept the all the teachings of the holy Democratic Party, straight from its Ministry of Truth. But to advance in the holy Democratic Party, it will do you no good, unless you belong to the same. Just ask Sen. Bernie Sanders (I, VT) about how serious it can be. He accepted and promoted all the teachings of the holy Democratic Party. But they took his delegates away, because of his sin of wrongparty. Twice.

Do you believe that there are only two biological genders? If so, you have committed wrongsexnumber. Check the Ministry of Truth often to get the right sexnumber range. And never again say that there are only two.<3>

Do you believe in the nuclear family? If so, you have committed novillage. It is a sin, because it denies the right of the State to indoctrinate our children. You want your children to be a model wards of the State, don’t you? Well then, you must allow the State complete control of your children’s hearts and minds. Otherwise, they could be exposed to wrongthink at a young age. That would be a catastrophe and could lead to rebellion against holy Party. The natural wisdom and ebullience of children are threats to holy Party, because it is written in oldspeak somewhere that, “The law of the Lord is unspotted, converting souls: the testimony of the Lord is faithful, giving wisdom to little ones”, and “Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus said to them: Yea, have you never read: Out of the mouth of infants and of sucklings thou hast perfected praise?” Such sayings are incompatible with holy Party; this Lord, whomever he is, is obviously seeking to take the place of Big Brother.

You too can obtain newvirtue and newthink! Just find a holy, Democratic Representative or Senator priest or priestess—preferably one with a Kente stole, but monochrome will do—and confess your wrongthink, wrongsupport, wronglisten and wrongspeak. If you promise to support, promote and vote for Democrats, the Party priest or priestess will absolve you! You will be cleansed!

As you may know, the holy, Democratic Party priesthood has been working hard to convert CEO’s, that they would fall in line, and stop committing wrongthink and wrongsupport. Holy Party is trying to get CEO’s to repent, take a knee and, if they are non-black, renounce their wrongcolor and wrongcolor privilege, and receive DP baptism, if they have not already. CEO’s can be very irreligious.

I warn all my readers; do not emulate irreligious CEO’s. Follow holy Party. If you have not yet repented of wrongcolor and wrongcolor privilege, repent now and get DP baptism. You will be absolved of all wrongthink, wrongsupport, wrongspeak, wronghat, wrongmessage and wronglisten that you may have committed. As an added bonus, you will become a member of holy Party!

The longer you put off DP baptism, the more difficult the Thought Police and the Ministry of Love will make life for you.


1. Many such deserts exist in Kansas and other Midwest States. [return link]

2. Wrongsupport is a serious sin in the holy Democratic Party, because it almost always involves another sin, wrongspeak. The latter is very grave, as it easily misleads listeners and readers. In court, wrongspeak implies and proves wrongthink, which is actually easier to convict people of. That is because our backward, Enlightenment-era Bill of Rights protects wrongspeak, but not wrongthink. Holy Party is working on this horrible, Constitutional Amendment that protects wrongspeak and other sins against holy Party. [return link]

3. There would be only two genders if the Ministry of Truth were to declare so. But as yet, They have not. [return link]

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